Finding middle ground and learning the importance of compromise in a relationship can be one of the hardest things you do with a partner. If you do not compromise in a relationship, one person may be left with negative feelings of carrying a heavy load, used, or overall undervalued. Being able to compromise in a relationship takes effective communication, active listening, willing to give and take, being able to consider the big picture, and seeking outside help if needed along with other things will help you grow closer than ever to your partner. If you feel that you and your partner need to learn more about healthy compromise, or you’re just looking to enhance your relationship, continue reading some key factors in the importance of compromise in a relationship.
One great issue that we run into in relationships is misunderstanding, and misunderstanding often stems from lack of effective communication. Misunderstanding can lead to various issues, most commonly disagreements, and can keep couples further from their end goal, compromise. Often times without effective communication, compromise and other hopes are left unresolved because we have a difficult time remembering the origin of the conversation, leaving room for more disagreements. “With effective communication in a relationship, both parties will have a clearer understanding of each other’s point of view, and they will be able to come to a compromise.”
It is important to not only communicate your feelings effectively, but to also be a good active listener and reassure your partner you are both a part of the conversation. Active listening requires more than just being a “good listener” and adding a few “mhms” or nods after your partner talks, active listening is an actual technique. The technique of active listening requires a listener to feed back what they are hearing from the speaker by paraphrasing or restating what they have heard, in the act that they will then understand what they have listened to better. By active listening, you are able to potentially see different points of view, reframe your way of thinking, and even consider points from your partner you may have been tuning out before.
Be Willing to Give and Take:
In order to avoid sacrifice and foster compromise, you must learn the ways of give and take. Not all topics are going to have a middle-ground, unfortunately, though everyone can hope for that in their relationship. While all we hope for is one person placing their beliefs or preferences on one side of the issue, while the other is squarely on the other side, realistically we are not always going to get what we want in compromise. GIve and take means not getting your way every time, but understanding that it is key to compromising and the bigger picture at the end of the day, your relationship. If you and your partner can understand that disagreements are not about “winning” the argument, but rather giving to your partner to receive the same back another time, compromise will look much healthier for you two.
Consider the Big Picture:
At the end of the day, no one wants to see a relationship end due to bad communication or understanding of compromise. As adults, you must consider the big picture. If the love you two have for each other is still there, compromising is just getting in the way with little arguments, don’t let that give you a negative outlook on your entire relationship. Disagreements are normal, not feeling balanced in your tasks for each other is normal, but communication is key. Remember that it is not about one of you being greater than the other, no one wins at the end of each day, if you can both find a way to please each other, especially in times of disagreements, that is the most important thing.
Seek outside help if needed:
It’s important to know that you alone cannot always solve your relationship issues. It’s also important to know that even with the help of your partner, you still may need extra assistance in keeping your relationship on the right track. There is no shame in couple’s therapy, and in fact, it is a very healthy practice for even those who consider themselves in a good spot. If you and your partner are struggling with negative feelings such as being used or carrying a heavy workload and you think you are needing to find compromise in your relationship, reach out, there is always a solution to your problems. Chriselda Santos, a licensed psychotherapist and certified life coach, specializes in providing compassionate relationship counseling. She is determined to help her patients build healthier connections and work through confusing times. For more information, or to book an appointment, visit her website.